Yesterday was tough, but J made it through. I lay in bed and snuggled with her at the end of the day. Sometimes I just hold her, because I have nothing more to offer. I feel so incompetent. I’m the mother, you know? The one who can leap tall buildings, wipe the tears, kiss the boo-boo, and make everything better; all while cooking dinner and folding a load of clothes, of course. But this- this is something I cannot fix. So I hold her, murmur soft, meaningless words, and WILL her to feel better.
She finally fell asleep. This morning, she was still shaky, but decided to go to work. She sent me a text two hours later saying that she was feeling better.
Just like that: crisis diverted. Or delayed. Because it will happen; it will be back. But for now, I will enjoy this moment. She is smiling, not too much, not too little, but just right.