Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

We All Touch Lives October 16, 2013

Life is pretty incredible. I received this from a former student. It is a rough draft of an essay she is writing…about me. I’m not publishing this to toot my horn, but to encourage you all to see that each one of us touches the lives of others in some way. We may never know just what we mean to someone else.

My Hero

My hero is my 5th grade teacher, Mrs.R.  I consider her my hero because she is a hardworking, intelligent, loyal lady.  She has helped many people in her life, not just through school, but also through life.  I still stay in contact with her.  I go to see her, call her, and text her.  I look up to her not only as a role model, but also as a motherly figure.  She’s one of the people who inspired me to become a teacher.  I want to touch people like she’s done for me.  Mrs. R is someone who I could run away from home and go to without getting in trouble.  Some girls go to their best friends for everything, but I go to Mrs. R.

            Mrs. R is a hard-working woman.  I would go over her house on a school night, have her help me with my homework, while she’s grading papers.  When I was in 5th grade, she taught science, social studies, and coached the Science Olympiad team.  On top of that, she ran a tutoring business, did her school work, and had a family to take care of at home.    Mrs. R was an elementary school teacher for 15 years.  While she was a teacher, she earned two teacher of the year awards.  She is now a literacy coach at an elementary school.  In her free time, she loves to paint.  When she retires, she plans to stay home and paint.

            Mrs. R is one the most intelligent people I know.  She originally went to beauty school. She dropped out and went college to major in education.  She attended  University until she found out she was pregnant with her oldest daughter.  She then took a 6 year break and took night classes at University.  She has helped me throughout school since 5th grade.  When she was running the tutoring business, she helped kids that were taking college courses.  I had trouble all throughout my years of any science class I’ve had.  Mrs. R helped me through them.  It’s not what she teaches, but how she teaches it.

            I would consider Mrs. R a loyal person because she gives up her own time to stay at her school late and do extra work.  She gave up her time to tutor kids on her time.  She’s never left a child on anything, whether it’s a problem, homework, or if they don’t have ride.  She always goes above and beyond the call of duty.  She’s given up her free time to help me on assignments at her house.  She could be painting or anything otherwise than helping me, but she chooses to because she won’t leave a child that needs help behind.

            As of today, she still continues to inspire children and touch them.  She works to push children up to their ability.  Right now, she’s probably touching a child like she has done to me.  Mrs. R is working to make a change in a child’s life.  She once told me that if she changes at least one child’s life, she’s doing her job right.  In my opinion, she’s going way above doing her job right.


Today I was Brave January 14, 2013

I did something brave today.

Be Happy

Be Happy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And I am freaking proud of myself (for a change). Remember my post “I’m Sick of Me“? I wrote it on a day when I plunged low into the depths of despair and depression. I lied to someone; someone I respect and care for tremendously..my boss…and she found out. I became trapped by the tangled lie with no way out. I respect her so much that I just wanted the earth to swallow me whole. When I looked at her I felt sick to my stomach.

Today, I finally saw her in private. I calmed myself as much as I could and went in and shut her door. I looked her in the eyes and apologized for lying. She looked surprised, but said it was fine. She did ask me why, and I told the truth. It was a stupid lie about something I forgot to do.

IT FELT SO DAMN GOOD! It was incredibly hard for me to do, but it would be harder to NOT talk to her about it. I could not let a lie hang between us, even if she forgave me. I had to face it, and I did.

I am a grown woman. I have lied before, both little white lies and bigger, more serious offenses. It is nothing new or earth-shattering. Facing up to lies is something you learn to do as a child, but it is never, ever easy to do. Lies are born out of desperation or because you are afraid the truth is too difficult for them (or yourself) to face.

Today, I was brave.  I faced it head on. Now my steps are a little lighter and I feel better about myself. Did it take away the lie? No, but it is no longer looming in the front of my head, telling me what a bad person I am. I can say, “Lesson learned.” And I can be proud of me!


The Human Race June 6, 2012

en: A glass of water / de: Ein Glas Wasser / t...

en: A glass of water / de: Ein Glas Wasser / tet: Kupu bee ida (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am often disappointed in the human race. I consider myself a fairly upbeat person who tends to see the glass as half full (unless I am in a depression, and then I have trouble seeing the glass and couldn’t give a damn if it is empty or full). When meeting new people, I reach out and try to make them feel comfortable. Empathy is one  of my strongest characteristics. When someone behaves in a bad way, I think they must have had a bad day. Inevitably, though, someone does something so wrong, so downright self-serving, that it makes  me ashamed to know that I belong to the same species.

That happened today at work. I witnessed a person with much clout look me (along with several others) in the eye and lie…not once…not twice…but three times. This same person had an agenda and did everything in her power to persuade us to go along with her idea,which was NOT in the best interest of the group.  She did everything she could to sway us. This disappointed me mainly because I knew this lady several years ago and she was a decent person whom I respected. She had a lesser level of authority then, but she did her job with fairness across the board. Now, with a greater amount of authority, she lost her values and morals.

What I witnessed next, however, restored my faith in mankind. This group of people listened, debated, and weighed the pros and cons of the situation. In the end, they did not allow her tactics to sway them and the group voted againest her proposal. When we put it all on the table, the resolution that was best for all won. Was it easy? No, we were given a no-win situation and had to choose the lesser of the evils. But I was proud to be part of the vocal group who stood up to her, debated with her, and stood for what we knew was right. I will be leaving this job in  a few short days, but I am happy to know that today I united with a decent group of people who fought for the right thing today…and won.

So don’t give up on the human race just yet, my friends. For every back-stabbing self-serving human, there are at least twenty hard-working decent people willing to fight the good fight. I am proud to be one of the twenty.


I Give You Wings May 6, 2012

Yesterday was bittersweet. My youngest daughter, (we will call S), who is graduating college in May, has already lined up a job in her field. That’s great news, right? The job is in a city four hours away. Not too far, really, considering her original plan was to move to the other side of the continent, but very far considering she has lived one street over from me for the past few years. I am very proud of S. She is my strong, independent one who has suffered greatly during my other daughter’s struggle with being bipolar, severe anxiety, and an eating disorder. She is the logical one that J  listens to while in the grip of mania or depression.

S and her partner, E, will be moving in 5 days. Yesterday we loaded all of their belongings and drove the four hours to the cute apartment (Is it a flat to my friends across the ocean?) they rented. I am in awe of my daughter at times.  S is gay, and while she doesn’t flaunt it in the small town in  which we live, she doesn’t hide it either. She is her own person, stubborn and independent to a fault. She and E have collected flea market furniture, refinished it, and made it their own. They have the guts to move to a city and begin a life together. E doesn’t have a job yet, but they are confident that everything will fall into place.

I am proud that I raised such a fabulous daughter. She is an amazing person. S reminded me recently that she never forgot the advice I repeated often to  her when she was just a small child: You can do anything you set your mind to; if you want it, work for it and make it happen. She lives that advice everyday.