Music #2 December 18, 2020

I am lost, adrift at sea in my own head

nothing to hold to, no anchor around

At first I fear for my life

then I fear I won’t drown.

I am dead inside

nothing wakes me

I cannot feel

come and take me.

His words filter by me, muted and far

meanings dance out of sight

I can’t seem to grasp

they are lost in the night.

I am dead inside

nothing wakes me

I cannot feel

come and take me.

Then slowly I hear it

It seeps deep inside

It curls around my soul

and my heart cannot hide.

It’s music I feel

with my heart and my head

breaking through my depression

as I lie here in bed.

I am alive inside

music wakes me

I feel every beat

come and take me.

Music

Music flows through my body

nourishing my soul

feeding my head

deep to my toes.

The hard, pounding beat

awakens something in me

making me more alive

than I ever can be.

Music fills empty spaces

in my heart so deep

it touches my soul

in ways I can’t speak.

I Would December 17, 2020

If only I could take away your sorrow

I would ease your terrible troubles

and throw your worries to the sky.

I would climb the highest mountain

to hang the moon and stars

to see your lips curve upwards.

I would frolic in the blue oceans

like a bantering jester’s fool

just to hear your laughter.

Time

Life is constantly changing,  rolling along

I don’t want to be left behind and alone

Seconds are ticking, ticking, ticking

And here I still sit

What am I waiting for?

Time waits for no one.

Live now

before life leaves you behind.

Just a Prick December 16, 2020

I watch you walking around in your thin skin

loving with a heart that’s not easy to mend

trust you can’t do ’cause you’ve been there before

giving him your love as he slams out the door

He’s a cancer that’s eating holes through your soul

not loving, not caring; sex his single goal

but don’t lose your hope because he’s just a prick

Keep believing, have hope, and a better man you will pick.

The Keeper December 15, 2020

I am the one and only Keeper of the Light

if the flame begins to flicker, to falter,

It is I, as the Keeper,

who must carefully coax it back

from the verge of extinction.

I am the Keeper

of the love, of the happiness, of light.

Their well-being, their life

depends solely on me.

It is an awful burden

to be the Keeper.

I cant love you December 14, 2020

It hurts me so much

to know

I can’t love you

like you need to be loved.

 

You deserve more

than this

but I can’t love you

the way you want me to.

 

Love shouldn’t be this hard

I know

I can’t love you

because it hurts me so.

 

 

More Words

The written word is not enough

to express

the very depths of my feelings

for you

There needs to be special words

for feelings

that are once in a lifetime

I need more, better words

that show

what you make me feel

Doing Chores December 12, 2020

Just another Saturday

Washing clothes

and puttin’ them away

Just another Saturday

doing chores

no time for play

Just another Saturday

mopping floors

nothing else to say

Just another Saturday

scrubbing toilets

keeping germs at bay

Heartbeat December 9, 2020

Lay your sweet cheek upon my shoulder

let me breathe the youth of your head

Clasp my finger with the tiniest hand

while your lips pucker then smile

Curled into a ball, still fetal

one foot shoots out like a tentacle

stretched long, quickly retracted

back to fetal once more

Your minuscule heartbeat

rests gently next to my own

beating in complete unison

our hearts become one again