Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

To Do List August 4, 2013

Filed under: about me,all,blogging,journal,life,miscellaneous — rainey46 @ 2:24 pm
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Daily To Do List:

1. Live

2. Appreciate that I am living

3. Notice little things of beauty because it makes me happy

4. Speak with a smile in my voice, eyes, and heart

5. Learn new things

flowers

 

 

Life Quote by Rainey January 18, 2013

Life

 

Her Beauty January 13, 2013

Filed under: adventure,Poems,poetry — rainey46 @ 6:01 pm
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Her incredible beauty calls to me

her arms

outstretched toward the indigo sky

beckon me

to slowly venture much closer

Reaching out

I run my fingers along her curves

so gently

She sways beneath my touch

begging me

so I focus the lens on her beauty

capturing her

in this moment in time, forever,

the tree.

 

Photos, Adventures, and Thinking: Recipe for a Great Day January 12, 2013

It was a beautiful day for an adventure. I traveled far, but didn’t get as many shots as I wanted. I’m okay with that, though, because the journey itself was soothing and somewhat restored my good spirits. Traveling gives me time to ponder many of life’s questions, and reflect on the problems in my soul. More on some of my thoughts later. For now I will say: I realized I have spent too much of my life living for others because I thought it was the “right” thing to do. Thinking of my own needs only made me feel selfish. I must work to change that mindset because it makes me miserable and only enables others to be more dependent on me. That may seem simple to you, but it is a life-changing thought for me.

It has been a long and lovely day.

Amber Waves and Blue Skys

 

 

Notice the Beauty to Survive the Challenges December 31, 2012

Well, here it is: New Year‘s Eve. Time to reflect on the year behind me and make well-meaning resolution that will supposedly bring me happiness and a better tomorrow.

Sorry. I can’t do it. Even though I am generally an optimistic person,  my personal year of 2012 was difficult and overwhelming. So, I will not sit here and ponder what has already been; most is too painful to see all at once. I have to view the hard parts a little at a time because the big picture is just too much.

2013: what will you hold? What delights, what beauties will you bring? What struggles will I face? My one wish is to remember to focus on the beauty of the little things in life. I want to see the sunlight glinting off of the water. I want to inhale the smell of snow falling in the silent forest. I vow to see the joy on a child’s face while holding a puppy. I intend to revel in the warmth of sunlight on my face.

My goal for 2013? Become more aware and appreciative of the joys and beauties in life. Here’s wishing that you, too will appreciate the sun on your face and the smell of the rain and the beauty of a bloom. It may be just enough to help you through your own personal challenges.

Violet Beauty

 

My Dear Old Friend July 10, 2012

He gazes down at me
With wise, soulful eyes
I lean against his knee
As he tells me stories
Of long, long ago
When knights roamed the land
And beauty won the heart
Of the bellowing beast
He holds the answers to questions
Of our near and distant past
He whispers the sweet secrets
Of lovers spoken in the heart
He is old, gnarled and bent
With his numerous years
Wiser than any I have known
He has already lived long
And will live beyond me
My dear old friend, the tree.

image

 

All Alone with People, Ducks, and Geese May 12, 2012

As always, when I am entering depression I need alone time. I grab my camera, jump in the car, throw in some good music, and drive. I’m not a danger, (I don’t think),  but I go into a fugue state where I zone out for a while and drive by auto-pilot. When I come to, I usually find myself near water. Today was no exception.

I found myself at a small lake on the west side of a nearby town. I sat on the bench and watched the ducks, geese, and people. There was a boy, about three years old, with his grandfather who sat on the hood of the truck and ate McDonald’s. They sat together and watched the ducks while bonding over cheeseburgers and fries. Another man sat with his young son in the car. They had a snack of animal crackers and shared sippy straw juice drinks. After eating, the father carried the son to see the birds up close. The child seemed frightened of the noise the geese made, but interested in seeing them from the safety of his dad’s arms. I watched two people out in the lake fishing from a boat . They seemed content to just fish together without conversation. Maybe there was nothing to say because they just enjoyed the time together. More people stood fishing on a short pier. They, too seemed content to just be together without many words.

I feel invisible when I observe people like this. No one sees me, no one acknowledges me. I am fine with this. Where I live, I am semi-famous, well-known for my job in this small community. I like being able to fade into the background for a change.

 

Inner Beauty May 3, 2012

Why do I look for beauty in the world? Because I cannot find it in me. I don’t mean physical looks that society judges us on. I am average looking, I guess, by most standards. Nothing to brag about, but you wouldn’t run screaming in fright if you saw me on the streets, either. No, you probably wouldn’t notice me at all. Like I said, average.

The beauty I’m referring to is inner beauty. Inner beauty is that glow that seems to come from certain people who are sure of their place in the world. They are the ones who fit comfortably in their own skin and move easily in and out of various groups of people. Inner beauty shines from these self-assured people like some type of personal sun. They are not braggers, or know-it-alls; they simple are comfortable in who they are and what they are doing in life. True self-confidence is the sexiest kind of beauty anyone could have. There is a fine line, however, between cocky and self-confidence. When you are self-confident, you have no need to put others down or brag about your greatness. You are happy to just be. Cocky, however, needs to strut and brag like a rooster.

Inner beauty cannot be bought or faked, but it can be developed. That is one of my personal goals: to develop enough self-confidence that I can look at myself and see that beauty from within. How do I do that? Just like anything else in life: set small goals and work to obtain each one. Right now, I am working on creating more time for me to develop my artistic side. I enjoy creating art, snapping photographs, and writing. These areas are things I can be proud of and gain more confidence as I create more and more.

 

Colorful Beauty May 1, 2012

I wish I could capture the beautiful variation of colors in this flower in one of my paintings.

 

Seek the Beauty April 24, 2012

It is unfortunate that I, along with many of you, have seen way too much pain and ugliness in this world. I see it in the suffering eyes of children, teenagers, and adults. When I look in the mirror I often see pain-filled eyes staring back at me. Once you think about it, ugliness lurks in every shadow and every street corner. At times it just seems too much to bear. The burden is too great and I feel too lost and alone. Then something happens; I notice the tiniest detail, such as a flower poking its little yellow head out of the ground, or the silly face of a puppy when it wants to play. These little bits of beauty are just what I need to remind me that for every bit of ugly, there is a bit of beauty in the world. I look up at the sky and see the universe stretched out in all of its glory. The colors of the ocean, or the bright red on a ladybug remind me of the loveliness around me. I have learned that I must find a balance so the ugly parts of life don’t overwhelm me and keep me from seeing the beautiful parts. The trick to finding that balance is to remember….remember to look for the beauty. That is my goal now, every single day that I am alive: to actively seek the beauty and the good. I know it’s there. It’s my job to find it.