Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

Life June 7, 2014

Life is not about making perfect choices; it’s about making mistakes and learning from  your mistakes. Life is messy and not meant to be perfect. Perfect is boring and vanilla. Now, there’s nothing wrong with vanilla, but no one wants vanilla 100% of the time. Life is full of vibrant colors, each one vying to be the favorite. Don’t pick one favorite for your entire life; have different favorites depending on your mood. Colors should be savored, explored, and loved. Same as food. Life is full of flavors.  Life includes trying different tastes, different combinations, exploring the bursts of flavors in your mouth. Life is about adventures. If you don’t get out there and see the world, how will you know what you love? Every day should bring wonderment at this world around us. Life is about being in the moment and seeing, really seeing, the commonplace items we take for granted. Life is about noticing, as you drive in to work, the single yellow bloom poking through the sidewalk concrete on the side of the road. What a fighter, that bloom. We can learn from that. Life is full of emotions, both good and bad. You need the yin and the yang to have a balance and to appreciate your emotions. The trick in life is to see even the bad as a learning experience that helps you grow. Life is about getting dressed every day. No, I don’t mean the clothes you put on, but the attitude. You decide, consciously or unconsciously, to put on a good face, or give in to the negativity in your heart. It’s okay to give in sometimes because you need to allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. It’s not okay to wallow in self-pity or anger or any other negative emotion because it poisons your soul. When you allow your soul to be poisoned it’s hard, damn hard, to get rid of that poison. So life is about feeling all emotions, but not allowing day-to-day emotions poison your soul. Life is about being true to yourself and not allowing others to sway you into being what, or who, you are not. Life is about laughing long and hard and as much as possible. Life is about listening to your heart and soul, because that is how you stay true. Life is about what goes on inside  your own head. Listen, but don’t live there because it gets too lonely. Live who are truly are, not what you think others expect you to be. Life is about loving who you are, faults and all. Carry a little too much junk in the trunk? Learn to appreciate your curves. Got wrinkles? Each one tells a unique story about your long and wonderful life. Hate the way you get too bossy at times with friends? Develop a sense of humor and learn to laugh at yourself. You are the one and only you….celebrate it.

 

Life, my friends, is about living. Live, because this is the one and only life you have as you.

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Promises February 13, 2014

Filed under: about me,all,personal,Poems,poetry,writing — rainey46 @ 3:22 pm
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Make me promises

of better days to come

I need to believe

there is still hope.

Make me promises

even if they are lies

of love yet found

and smiles yet seen.

Make me promises

of a future worth living

speak of beauty

I’ve yet to see.

Make me promises

that forever you’ll stay

holding me close

whispering new promises.

 

 

Snow Limerick

There once was a snow storm in the south

It hit us like a punch in the mouth

We bought milk and bread

then hunkered down in bed

awaiting the thaw of the south.

Majestic

 

 

 

 

The Waiting Room December 13, 2013

The woman appears disheveled. She sits perched on the edge of the waiting room chair, swinging her petite, pajama-clad legs back and forth nervously. She hunches into her over-sized sweatshirt and pulls the hood tighter as if she wants to disappear. Her hands are clasped over her ears to keep out the noise. Anxious eyes dart around when a man takes the seat next to her. After a moment, she walks to the front desk to ask how much longer she has to wait. She’s waited six hours already. She returns, but chooses a new seat.

~

The family comes in together. The man, who appears to be the one in charge, is dressed neatly in a Green Bay Packer’s sweatshirt and pressed jeans. The younger man wears the uniform of his youth: over-sized shirt hanging over carefully sagging jeans. A sharp pair of  Nike’s complete his look.  The older woman is obviously the matriarch. The men walk her in, flanking her sides. She walks slowly, but steadily, with their help and her head held high. Two younger women trail behind, huddled together for support. Both of their dark faces glisten with fresh tears. The family gathers together and has a quiet conversation. In moments they dissolve in tears. The men comfort the matriarch as her tears deepen into sobs. The news of an impending death of a 10 year-old family member is too much to handle.

 

~

She sits with legs splayed, filling the seat with her bulk. Her gray sweatshirt is stretched tightly across her stomach. Stains show at the armpits. Oblivious to others, she continues her phone conversation. She complains loudly about various problems in her life. An older man brings her a greasy white bag which causes her to finally end the 45 minute conversation. She thanks the man and he leaves. She unwraps the first of two tin foil packages and the smell of cooked onions fills the air. The woman eats with great enthusiasm, licking her glistening fingers after every few bites. A few minutes later she unwraps the second package and consumes the other burger. Flecks of cole slaw dot her lips when she sits back with a satisfied sigh.

~

The waiting room in a hospital emergency room gives a unique glimpse into life.

 

Close to Perfection October 27, 2013

Fall Day and Night 2013 006Yesterday was magical. It was as close to a perfect day as you could ever desire. If you read my post yesterday, you know it began with coffee and quiet reflection before the sun rose. I then fell back asleep, which I guess I needed. I had peaceful dreams and awoke feeling refreshed. I did a quick house cleaning and washed a few clothes. (So, okay, in a perfect world those things wouldn’t need to be done, but I did say it was CLOSE to perfect.)

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon painting. I put Pandora Radio on my Kindle and listened to The Tallest Man on Earth, Gordon Lightfoot, Incubus, Mumford and Sons, Fun., Blind Melon, and many others, old and new. The air was cold, but I painted on my back porch anyway. I love a crisp fall day! While painting, I used textures for the first time. I love the look of a textured painting, but I’ve never tried it. It turned out  pretty good for my first try. It didn’t even bother me that hubs didn’t like it; I know he is not crazy about a lot of my art, but he is supportive about it. I really like it, and someone already asked to buy it!

As I was winding down my painting, I started a big pot of homemade chili and sent a text to my daughters and daughter in law (What do you call your gay daughter’s significant other? Not sure about that.) inviting them over. I set the chairs up around the fire pit and we had a few beers while eating delicious chili. The night air was cold, but the warmth of the fire kept us toasty.

This is what life is all about.

Fall Day and Night 2013 002

 

 

Peaceful Morning Thoughts October 26, 2013

It’s quiet here. All I hear is the steady hum of the small heater I have plugged in to combat the morning chill. The entire world, it seems, is still asleep. The birds are still in their nests awaiting the morning light. Not even the distant crow of the rooster can be heard. Even the sun is still in slumber. This quiet moment, for it is just a moment, is one of my favorite times of the day.

I am up early simply to have this moment. I usually try to sleep in on Saturday to catch up on the rest I miss during the busy week. Today having this peaceful time to myself is more important, and much more needed, than extra sleep. I need to “re-center” myself on the important things in life and focus on me for a change. My life gets so out-of-control crazy at times that I literally have to step back, take a breathe, and do some self-reflection.

What is most important to me at this time in my life? Where do I need to focus to have personal growth where I need it? How can I lessen the huge amount of stress I carry on my shoulders? What perceptions do I need to work on? What new short-term and long-term goals do I have? What makes me really happy? What things, ideas, or people do I need to let go from my life to increase my self-worth and happiness?

These are the questions I ask myself. Sometimes when my world is crumbling around me I lose sight of the big picture; my internal compass goes haywire and my sense of purpose is lost. It takes a bit of quiet self-reflection to remind me of who I am. “Perception is reality.” I live by that quote. Sometimes I only need to adjust my perception to become happier. I cannot change the actions, thoughts, or beliefs of those around me, but I can change my perception by examining myself and others.

Hubs is working, J is sleeping. The dogs are still deep in slumber, snuggled against my legs. My fingers are itching to hold a paintbrush. I wonder…what will I create?

 

No Words September 25, 2013

Filed under: about me,all,blogging,writers,writing — rainey46 @ 8:36 pm
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I try to write yet nothing seems right. The last few weeks have left me unable to find my voice. I would usually just wait it out and give myself time to “feel” the words again. The problem is that I itch to write; it’s like a burning need that I cannot fill. My brain aches with the words I cannot produce. Writer’s block sucks and my brain hurts.