This is so true. I wish I felt comfortable enough with someone, ANYONE, to let them see into my heart. I am very laid back and tolerate of others’ differences and ‘uniqueness’ because that is how I wish people were with me.
Snow Limerick February 13, 2014
There once was a snow storm in the south
It hit us like a punch in the mouth
We bought milk and bread
then hunkered down in bed
awaiting the thaw of the south.
Head and Heart November 23, 2013
my head is full
of past mistakes
things left unsaid
words spewed in anger
and deeds I’d rather forget.
my heart is full
of unrequited love
wounds self-inflicted
slights large and small
and love I’ll never regret.
Joy November 12, 2013
I could use some joy right now. I just keep reminding myself of all the good I have in my life.
Bohemian Song October 27, 2013
Here I am
in the October sun
Not looking for love
just looking for fun
~
A nomad at heart
I don’t stay around long
I put miles behind me
with a bohemian song
~
Drinking a beer
hat pulled way down low
It’s not even five
but I’m itching to go
~
A nomad at heart
I don’t stay around long
I put miles behind me
with a bohemian song
~
No chains to hold me
no people in my way
I go where the wind blows
never will I stay
~
A nomad at heart
I don’t stay around long
I put miles behind me
with a bohemian song
~
This life is for me
I like it better this way
I see what I want
something different each day
~
A nomad at heart
I don’t stay around long
I put miles behind me
with a bohemian song
~
I put miles behind me
with a bohemian song.
Close to Perfection
Yesterday was magical. It was as close to a perfect day as you could ever desire. If you read my post yesterday, you know it began with coffee and quiet reflection before the sun rose. I then fell back asleep, which I guess I needed. I had peaceful dreams and awoke feeling refreshed. I did a quick house cleaning and washed a few clothes. (So, okay, in a perfect world those things wouldn’t need to be done, but I did say it was CLOSE to perfect.)
I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon painting. I put Pandora Radio on my Kindle and listened to The Tallest Man on Earth, Gordon Lightfoot, Incubus, Mumford and Sons, Fun., Blind Melon, and many others, old and new. The air was cold, but I painted on my back porch anyway. I love a crisp fall day! While painting, I used textures for the first time. I love the look of a textured painting, but I’ve never tried it. It turned out pretty good for my first try. It didn’t even bother me that hubs didn’t like it; I know he is not crazy about a lot of my art, but he is supportive about it. I really like it, and someone already asked to buy it!
As I was winding down my painting, I started a big pot of homemade chili and sent a text to my daughters and daughter in law (What do you call your gay daughter’s significant other? Not sure about that.) inviting them over. I set the chairs up around the fire pit and we had a few beers while eating delicious chili. The night air was cold, but the warmth of the fire kept us toasty.
This is what life is all about.
Art Festival and Nourishment of My Soul July 29, 2013
Artist at work
Those are panoramic photographs on the right
Lots of people!
Metal art
I took a nice, much-needed trip to a festival in the mountains. Seeing the beautiful artwork of others really inspired me. It also made me feel great about my own work. Sometimes I feel like my work is so…untalented…not good enough. I know people TELL me it’s good, but you know how that goes; these people love me (or at least like me and must see me regularly). After seeing the art for sale….that people were BUYING, I feel like my work (some of it) might actually sell in the right market. So I’ve decided to try it. I’m going to complete as many pieces as I can, then sign up for a booth at a local festival.
As for my trip, it helped to clear my head. I’ve been in a fog the last few weeks. Not really depressed, just existing. I’ve just watched the hours turn into days. Now I feel ready to do something. I have a purpose again.
I’m including a few pictures of the festival. It was great! I sat on the sidewalk, eating Thai food, listening to a local band, and watching the people walk by and thought what a wonderful life it would be to travel to various festivals and sell art you lovingly crafted. That fits my ideal lifestyle! I met such interesting people and had great conversations about art and life. My soul feels nourished again.
Meet Our Fur Ball, Tucker June 26, 2013
Meet Tucker. He is a Shih Tzu just like Sophie, and just like Riley was. He is adorable and has a sweet nature, but is feisty enough to hold his own with the “grand-pups” when they come over. I think it is okay that I am not bonding with him right away like I have my other dogs; he seems to like hubs, and they have bonded nicely. I’m fine with that; I just want the little guy to have the love he deserves. It’s not that I don’t like him; I really do. I just know my heart is not in it. I will grow to love him more because that is my nature; I am and always will be an animal lover.
Sophie is still avoiding Tucker. We are trying to help her out of her depression. The vet said to give her time, and to make sure she gets to do some favorite things. I bought her favorite chew toy today, and she got to go for not one, but TWO rides in the car. She seems content at the moment. As I am typing this, she is lying beside me chewing her toy. Tucker is playing on the floor with hubs, playing tug-of-war.
As for me, I had to get out of the house today. I got up early and went grocery shopping (I know, not exciting, but it gave me something to think about). At 10:00 I broke down. Riley died at 10:00 a week ago today. I also cried when it thundered because Riley was scared of thunder. After multiple breakdowns, we decided I needed a distraction so hubs took me to see a movie and then we went out to eat. It did help, so at the moment I feel more peaceful than I did earlier.
I’ve tried doing art, but it all turns to shit. I cannot force it; art (or writing, for that matter) has to come from somewhere deep inside. Even my photographs seem flat. Hopefully I will find that spark again, because it is the best emotional release I have.
The Crooked Tree May 25, 2013
Once, deep in a beautiful green forest, a teeny tiny tree seed fell onto the rich soil of the forest floor. Now, in this forest, many seeds fell onto the forest floor, but most were quickly eaten by the hungry birds that lived among the trees. This particular seed, however, was so tiny, so incredibly small, that it was overlooked by the birds. After a few days the seed began to sprout.
Now, you must know that all the seeds that were not eaten by the hungry birds began to sprout. Soon, the rabbits of the forest smelled the new sprouts. The rabbits came out of their little rabbit homes and gathered around to eat the fresh tender sprouts. The teeny tiny seed had sprouted into a teeny tiny sprout and was overlooked by the hungry rabbits.
The teeny tiny sprout felt very fortunate. As he looked around, he saw only a few other sprouts still standing. He was so happy, he did a little wiggle in the wind. The other sprouts laughed at him and called him a baby. The teeny tiny sprout was so embarrassed he turned red all the way to the top of his teeny tiny leaf.
All of the sprouts growing on the forest floor were watched over by the ancients. The ancients were the top trees of the forest. They had the tallest, straightest trunks you could imagine! Their beautiful branches stretched far and wide, casting deep shadows across the forest floor. Only a little sunlight filtered down through their thick branches. The ancients knew the sprouts needed sunlight to grow, and that only the strongest and smartest sprouts would survive. It was the way of the forest.
Time passed and the sprouts continued to grow. Most sprouts grew tall and straight, with their heads lifting higher and higher towards the few rays of sunlight that filtered down through the ancients. They had beautiful straight bodies filled with perfect little leaves. Their bark was strong and turning a rich brown. A few sprouts began to wither and die because they could not reach the much-needed rays of sun. The teeny tiny sprout grew, but he was a lot smaller than the other sprouts. He was not near a sun ray, and it was hard for him to make new leaves. His trunk was thin. It made him sad to see some of the other sprouts begin to die, and he worried that he, too would die.
The taller sprouts called him names and told him it was just a matter of time until he died like the other weaklings. Teeny tiny sprout tried to ignore their taunts, but it was hard. He was determined to grow and survive! He spent hours and hours thinking about his problem and how he could solve it. He gazed up at the ancients and wondered how they survived. How he longed to become an ancient so he could watch over the little seedlings of the forest! As he was peering up, he noticed something unusual about several of the ancients. The bottom of their long, towering trunks were thick and straight. But as he looked up toward the very top of their bodies, he noticed that most, if not all, were bent and crooked. It was hard to see because the ancients were so crowded together and their long branches were interwoven. He wondered why they grew this way. Suddenly, he understood!
From that day forward, teeny tiny sprout stopped worrying about being tall and straight. He leaned his teeny tiny body towards any bit of sunlight he could reach. He began to grow, but he was bent in odd places. The other sprouts told him he looked ridiculous. Teeny tiny sprout tried to explain to them what he discovered about the ancients, but they just covered their ears with bark and refused to listen.
All the sprouts who survived became small tree-lets. Some of the tree-lets were tall and straight because they were lucky enough to stand in a beam of sunlight. Teeny tiny tree-let continued to grow, but he was bent in so many places he was still very low to the ground. But he had beautiful leaves, and his truck was a rich brown. The other tree-lets continued to make fun of him, but he no longer cared. He knew he was different, but he was happy and that was all that mattered.
Late one afternoon, all sunlight disappeared as dark clouds gathered high above the heads of the ancients. The ancients locked limbs to protect the young tree-lets, because they knew the dangers of the storm. Before long, thunder rumbled and rain pelted the forest floor. The tree-lets loved the rain and began drinking it in as fast as it fell. After several minutes, the tree-lets were full of rain and could hold no more. But the rain came down even harder and the roots of the tree-lets could fill the soil washing away. This worried teeny tiny tree, so he tried to squeeze his roots more tightly into the ground.
As the rain continued to pound the forest floor, the ancients started to wave around wildly. The wind was a fierce beast who beat them upon their heads and tossed them around. One ancient, born many, many years before, was snapped in half. Wind didn’t even care and kept pounding at the forest. On the forest floor, the tall, straight tree-lets were tossed around as well. It was hard to hang onto the wet slippery soil when the wind pulled them back and forth. Several tree-lets were ripped from the soil and tossed to the wind, never to be seen again. Teeny tiny tree-let hugged his bent trunk close to the forest floor. He did not stand as tall as the other tree-lets, so he was able to hug closer to the ground. He hung on with all his might.
An hour later the storm passed. The forest dripped with rain and the sun shone again. It was sad to see the ancient who fell, but that was the way of the forest. As teeny tiny tree-let looked around, he realized many other tree-lets were gone. Only three remained, including himself. He was very sad the others were gone, even if they had treated him badly. He knew it was the way of the forest, but it still saddened his heart.
Years passed and teeny tiny tree-let grew into a tree. He had a strong, straight trunk, but the top of his body was bent because he continued to grow in the direction of the sun. He became known as crooked tree instead of teeny tiny tree. The other two tree-lets also became trees, but they were not as strong as crooked tree. They were tall and they were straight, but their trunks were thin and weak.
Another fierce storm came, and this time both of the other trees were snapped. Their thin straight trunks could not survive the howling wind. Crooked tree wrapped his crooked treetop around the legs of an ancient and managed to survive. He was sad to see the others go and mourned their loss.
Suddenly, crooked tree heard the booming voice of an ancient. The ancient explained that only the strongest and smartest survived because it was the way of the forest. He told crooked tree he was the only one who was smart enough to follow the sun, even if it meant being crooked. Crooked tree tremble with pride at these words. He knew he would one day join the ancients at the top of the forest.
