Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

Brushstrokes November 3, 2013

Filed under: about me,all,painting,random,thoughts — rainey46 @ 2:39 pm
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Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.

               Henry Ward Beecher

I am lost inside my art. With every brush stroke, I am carried farther away from the troubles that inhabit my brain. I breath in the smell of the paint and see the whiteness of my canvas transform from something empty and dull into a world of color and delight. Painting quiets the noise in my head.

Fruitbowl

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Close to Perfection October 27, 2013

Fall Day and Night 2013 006Yesterday was magical. It was as close to a perfect day as you could ever desire. If you read my post yesterday, you know it began with coffee and quiet reflection before the sun rose. I then fell back asleep, which I guess I needed. I had peaceful dreams and awoke feeling refreshed. I did a quick house cleaning and washed a few clothes. (So, okay, in a perfect world those things wouldn’t need to be done, but I did say it was CLOSE to perfect.)

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon painting. I put Pandora Radio on my Kindle and listened to The Tallest Man on Earth, Gordon Lightfoot, Incubus, Mumford and Sons, Fun., Blind Melon, and many others, old and new. The air was cold, but I painted on my back porch anyway. I love a crisp fall day! While painting, I used textures for the first time. I love the look of a textured painting, but I’ve never tried it. It turned out  pretty good for my first try. It didn’t even bother me that hubs didn’t like it; I know he is not crazy about a lot of my art, but he is supportive about it. I really like it, and someone already asked to buy it!

As I was winding down my painting, I started a big pot of homemade chili and sent a text to my daughters and daughter in law (What do you call your gay daughter’s significant other? Not sure about that.) inviting them over. I set the chairs up around the fire pit and we had a few beers while eating delicious chili. The night air was cold, but the warmth of the fire kept us toasty.

This is what life is all about.

Fall Day and Night 2013 002

 

 

Art Festival and Nourishment of My Soul July 29, 2013

Artist at work

Artist at work

Those are panoramic photographs on the right

Those are panoramic photographs on the right

Lots of people!

Lots of people!

Metal art

Metal art

I took a nice, much-needed trip to a festival in the mountains. Seeing the beautiful artwork of others really inspired me. It also made me feel great about my own work. Sometimes I feel like my work is so…untalented…not good enough. I know people TELL me it’s good, but you know how that goes; these people love me (or at least like me and must see me regularly). After seeing the art for sale….that people were BUYING, I feel like my work (some of it) might actually sell in the right market. So I’ve decided to try it. I’m going to complete as many pieces as I can, then sign up for a booth at a local festival.

As for my trip, it helped to clear my head. I’ve been in a fog the last few weeks. Not really depressed, just existing. I’ve just watched the hours turn into days. Now I feel ready to do something. I have a purpose again.

I’m including a few pictures of the festival. It was great! I sat on the sidewalk, eating Thai food, listening to a local band, and watching the people walk by and thought what a wonderful life it would be to travel to various festivals and sell art you lovingly crafted. That fits my ideal lifestyle! I met such interesting people and had great conversations about art and life. My soul feels nourished again.

 

Canvas April 20, 2013

Filed under: about me,art,painting,Poems,poetry — rainey46 @ 4:11 pm
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a blank canvas before me

deep turquoise on my brush

the first stroke of color

blares against white

soon i am lost

nothing else exists

except the movement

of brush against canvas

hours seem like moments

as swirls of color

replace the blankness

if only life

could be this easy

to change

Sun Garden

 

Gypsy is Home With Paint in Her Hair April 1, 2013

Since I am off work for an entire, glorious, much-needed week, I am giving the gypsy some free rein. Well, as much free rein as I can since I have no money to travel.

So, Small Town me is in the back seat. That’s right, she is no longer in the driver’s seat…for at least a week! I dusted off my paint brushes and turned gypsy loose. My arms, hands, and shoulder length brown hair are streaked with hues of yellow, green and blue. I move between the back porch and my studio, both dogs trailing behind me. I am at my happiest when creating something. I’ve already thrown away two pieces (I’m a little rusty) but I don’t even care! I completed one piece using my wood burning kit and I love it. It’s for my camper. Another piece, seen below, is very vivid and fun. I had a great time painting it and I plan to actually hang this one up in my house! That is something I seldom do for some reason.

I sold another cell phone cover on Society 6! It was created from one of my photographs. It makes me happy to know someone will use something I created. 🙂

I’m trying hard to keep gypsy in control because I need that release right now. Things are not doing well with J. She’s been having cramps and female problems for the past month. They think she might have a cyst and she is taking this very badly. J is an emotional wreck, wanting to talk and dwell over every pain. This is something I just cannot do right now! Don’t get me wrong; I am sympathetic. I had problems when I was younger and had a hysterectomy when I was only 25. It’s just that I need a break, but when I tried to explain that to her she became offended. She has always tried to control things, especially ME. Control is one of her issues. She is trying her hardest to pull me in, but I can’t do it. Not right now. So, I keep my distance.

She just got home from another appointment. She walked in and said accusingly, ” I tried to call you.” Just her tone set me on edge, so without thinking I retorted, “And I didn’t answer.” She glared at me and stomped off. I yelled after her and asked what the doctor said, but she replied, “Never mind now. That’s why I called. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” And with that, she went to her room and firmly shut the door.

Heavy sigh. Sometimes I cannot win. All I know is I cannot make her happy. It is not my job to make her (or anyone else) happy. So I will go back outside to the porch and turn gypsy loose on that next canvas…

random days 009

 

 

Black and White Without the Gray February 10, 2013

Interesting reading I found this morning.

http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/lists/2011/05/brilliant-musicians-whove-battled-mental-illness.html

 

http://www.adhdandbipolar.com/famous-people-with-bipolar-disorder.html 

When I feel “Up”, I become very creative. By up I don’t mean a normal good mood; it’s so much more than that. This is the reason I suspect I have some form of bipolar disorder. It is NOTHING like what my daughter suffers, but it is there staring me in the face.

I really understand how so many creative people in the world are bipolar. When you have that edge of mania, just sharp enough to make you invincible, the creative juices flow. Even during depression I find inspiration. I could live and die by my art if there were not people in my world who keep me grounded. I often wonder what it would be like to totally give in; stop fighting the rhythm of my body and mind and let go. Forget trying to fit my square peg into the round hole. Sometimes it becomes so exhausting trying to be like everyone else; I’m just not like other people! I know this and have mostly accepted it. But still I continue to work the 9-5, and live the typical suburbanite life. I think that is where most of my unhappiness originates.

It’s not that I am miserable all the time. I’m not, really.  I have a great job that I love, and I am good at it. I have a husband who does love the me I allow him to see. Most people seem to like me and I like them most people. Of course you know I have my dogs whom I love more than most humans. I just know that I spend so much time suppressing “me” that I often forget who I am.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

So, who am I really? I am an artist who cannot decide on one art form. I love to paint with acrylics or watercolor. I enjoy making jewelry from metal, wire, rocks, glass, paint, and clay. Writing gets in my blood and I must get it out; poetry, quotes, stories, or simply blogging about life. I love pottery and feeling the slippery clay between my fingers. But I think my true art form is photography. I love photography and would spend most waking moments traveling around the world and taking photos.

new art april 2011 217So why do I work and live like I do? Because it’s what I’m supposed to do. You know: get married, have children and a career, buy a house in a good neighborhood. I did all of that. I’m not unhappy that I did, but I often wonder what life would be like if I lived by my creative juices like my heart desires. Ideally, I guess I could live this life and create in my spare time. The truth of the matter is this life consumes me and all of my time. Just taking time to blog is a challenge.

I have a studio. It is tiny; it once was the bedroom of my daughter, S. Now it’s crammed with the remains of old projects and the tools of all the above mentioned art. I’ve tried spending my summers, when I am out of work from mid-June until mid-August, creating. IT’S NOT ENOUGH! When I create, I become consumed by it like a drug or a new love. I don’t want to talk to people, or cook dinner, or do any mundane things of life. Yet, time after time, I must stop and attend to life matters.new art april 2011 163

I feel like I am some weird schizophrenic blend of two people: the Domestic Me, who enjoys working and conversing with coworkers and children. This version of Me enjoys having everything in order: files put away, papers organized, and dinners planned. She lays out her slacks and dress shirt before bed,  goes to bed on time, and even remembers to put gas in the car! The other part, the Creative Me, only goes to bed when sleep overcomes creativity, puts her hair up in a sloppy ponytail, wears t-shirts, old jeans and bare feet, and listens to blaring music as creativity rules her every breathe.

new art april 2011 164The Domestic Me has ruled for many, many years. Only on occasion has Creative Me taken control and she sometimes wrecked havoc in my life. But SHE is the one that seems like the real me! She is me if I am being honest and really, totally ME. Why, then, do I keep her deep inside? Because that bitch is scary! She would get the tattoos and piercings someone of my age shouldn’t even think about. She would quit the 9-5 because it impedes the creative flow. She would probably then starve to death because, while I love my art in all its forms, I’m not nearly good enough to live on it. Even if I were good, Creative Me would not know how or where to begin to sell my craft. At least she would be much skinnier than Domestic Me! She would always wear jeans or flowing dresses, seldom cut her hair, smoke weed, and probably scare the piss out of small children! 😀 Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the truth is out: I am the original hippy. I am a hippy living a soccer mom life and it sometimes hurts.

So, how do you blend the unblendable? How do you mix black and white and not create gray?

sundown

 

Birds for Sailor July 21, 2012

Filed under: about me,all,art,blog,blogging,humor,painting — rainey46 @ 5:58 pm
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For my friend, Sailor.

First, for your entertainment, an old rhyme I said as a child (as  you can see, I was mental even back then)

Birdie, birdie, in the sky,

Why’d you poo-poo in my eye?

I’m sure glad cows don’t fly!

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And now, bird art by Rainey.

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