Bohemian Song October 27, 2013

Here I am

in the October sun

Not looking for love

just looking for fun

~

A nomad at heart

I don’t stay around long

I put miles behind me

with a bohemian song

~

Drinking a  beer

hat pulled way down low

It’s not even five

but I’m itching to go

~

A nomad at heart

I don’t stay around long

I put miles behind me

with a bohemian song

~

No chains to hold me

no people in my way

I go where the wind blows

never will I stay

~

A nomad at heart

I don’t stay around long

I put miles behind me

with a bohemian song

~

This life is for me

I like it better this way

I see what I want

something different each day

~

A nomad at heart

I don’t stay around long

I put miles behind me

with a bohemian song

~

I put miles behind me

with a bohemian song.

Close to Perfection

Yesterday was magical. It was as close to a perfect day as you could ever desire. If you read my post yesterday, you know it began with coffee and quiet reflection before the sun rose. I then fell back asleep, which I guess I needed. I had peaceful dreams and awoke feeling refreshed. I did a quick house cleaning and washed a few clothes. (So, okay, in a perfect world those things wouldn’t need to be done, but I did say it was CLOSE to perfect.)

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon painting. I put Pandora Radio on my Kindle and listened to The Tallest Man on Earth, Gordon Lightfoot, Incubus, Mumford and Sons, Fun., Blind Melon, and many others, old and new. The air was cold, but I painted on my back porch anyway. I love a crisp fall day! While painting, I used textures for the first time. I love the look of a textured painting, but I’ve never tried it. It turned out  pretty good for my first try. It didn’t even bother me that hubs didn’t like it; I know he is not crazy about a lot of my art, but he is supportive about it. I really like it, and someone already asked to buy it!

As I was winding down my painting, I started a big pot of homemade chili and sent a text to my daughters and daughter in law (What do you call your gay daughter’s significant other? Not sure about that.) inviting them over. I set the chairs up around the fire pit and we had a few beers while eating delicious chili. The night air was cold, but the warmth of the fire kept us toasty.

This is what life is all about.

 

Art Festival and Nourishment of My Soul July 29, 2013

Artist at work

Those are panoramic photographs on the right

Lots of people!

Metal art

I took a nice, much-needed trip to a festival in the mountains. Seeing the beautiful artwork of others really inspired me. It also made me feel great about my own work. Sometimes I feel like my work is so…untalented…not good enough. I know people TELL me it’s good, but you know how that goes; these people love me (or at least like me and must see me regularly). After seeing the art for sale….that people were BUYING, I feel like my work (some of it) might actually sell in the right market. So I’ve decided to try it. I’m going to complete as many pieces as I can, then sign up for a booth at a local festival.

As for my trip, it helped to clear my head. I’ve been in a fog the last few weeks. Not really depressed, just existing. I’ve just watched the hours turn into days. Now I feel ready to do something. I have a purpose again.

I’m including a few pictures of the festival. It was great! I sat on the sidewalk, eating Thai food, listening to a local band, and watching the people walk by and thought what a wonderful life it would be to travel to various festivals and sell art you lovingly crafted. That fits my ideal lifestyle! I met such interesting people and had great conversations about art and life. My soul feels nourished again.

You and I Love Like No Other June 14, 2013

Your lips touch mine like a butterfly’s wing

you taste of  sweat and  long days of spring

lingering, tasting, taunting me

I love how you and I become we.

~

Hold me close and let’s dance real slow

hold me now and never let go

‘cuz you and I were made for one another

you and I love like no other.

~

My paint touches canvas  and I feel your gaze

thoughts of you still put me in a haze

a shiver runs up and down my spine

I knew at first glance you’d always be mine.

~

Hold me close and let’s dance real slow

hold me now and never let go

‘cuz you and I were made for one another

you and I love like no other.

~

I awake with a start, tears on my face

Looking around, I don’t recognize this place

This is not our home, something’s not right

You should be here beside me at night.

~

Hold me close and let’s dance real slow

hold me now and never let go

‘cuz you and I were made for one another

you and I love like no other.

~

My heart breaks again as I remember the pain

Our carefree life ended at 3rd and Main

The squeal of the tires the sound of breaking glass

On that cold winter night from this life you passed.

~

Hold me close and let’s dance real slow

hold me now and never let go

‘cuz you and I were made for one another

you and I love like no other.

~

I dream at night of our time together

How we loved to dance in the stormy weather

Now  I spend each day all alone

I no longer dance now that you are gone.

~

Hold me close and let’s dance real slow

hold me now and never let go

‘cuz you and I were were made for one another

you and I love like no other.

~

Hold me close and let’s dance real slow

hold me now and never let go

‘cuz you and I were were made for one another

I will always love you like no other.

Need a Chill Mood After Today June 11, 2013

Playing this on repeat because it puts me in a chill mood. Today was rough for me and for J. Tell you about it later; right now I just need to chill.

 

New Favorite Song: Dirty Paws April 30, 2013

http://video.pbs.org/video/2273417128/

There is something enchanting to me about this song…this band…

Another One For You, MBC April 15, 2013

There is an old song I listen to when I am feeling down. I don’t know why it’s this one song, but I listen to it on repeat, blasting it as loud as I can as I sing along.  After hearing it a few dozen times, I somehow always feel better. It doesn’t fix things and nothing really changes, but I do feel better. Maybe it’s because the words speak to me, and I don’t feel so all alone. You know, SOMEONE gets it.

I actually have a weird playlist of songs I listen to when I am feeling really rock-bottom down, but this one is always, always at the top of the list. I have posted about it before, but this one is for my friend, MBC. I’m thinking about you, and I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Maybe this song will help. Maybe you can find one that makes you feel better. Maybe, just maybe, knowing that I care will help a tiny bit.

Here are the words to Change, by Blind Melon.

I don’t feel the suns comin’ out today
its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I don’t
think I’ll ever see the sun from here.

And oh as I fade away,
they’ll all look at me and say, and they’ll say,
Hey look at him! I’ll never live that way.
But that’s okay
they’re just afraid to change.

When you feel your life ain’t worth living
you’ve got to stand up and
take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin’ it’s time to die.

And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
some ways will work and other ways we’ll play.
But I know we all can’t stay here forever,
so I want to write my words on the face of today.
and then they’ll paint it

And oh as I fade away,
they’ll all look at me and they’ll say,
Hey look at him and where he is these days.
When life is hard, you have to change.

And here is the video again. I hope it helps. Hugs to you, Your friend Rainey

For a Friend: Patience

For you, MBC. You are worth it.

Gypsy Vs. Small Town Me March 30, 2013

I am so restless. I itch to make things happen, and yet I do nothing. Is it because I am scared? Is it because I am just a lazy dreamer? Is it because I don’t know how to start? I don’t really know.

Am I destined to live my life with this restless spirit, or is there some way I can live this life I have and satisfy my desire to wander? It is like I am two people in one: one reliable person who is the wife and mother living in Small Town, USA. This person baked cookies, made homemade jelly, coached softball, and taught all the neighborhood kids how to create awesome science projects. She desired a house with a big yard and traditional furnishings. She is the good wife, daughter, and mother. The other person inside of me is a gypsy. She doesn’t care about social norms; she lives by her own set of rules. She believes in the spiritual goodness found in nature. Her one desire is to wander the earth to see all there is to see. Her life is found in a traveling caravan. She creates beautiful things just for the sake of beauty.

I know we all have different parts of our personalities, but mine seem to be constantly waging war with one another because they are polar opposites. The older I get, the more Gypsy me tries to take over. It’s like I have been what society expects me to be for as long as I could, and now I feel restless and rebellious to let the ‘real’ me take over. I want to see things, do things, have experiences that Small Town me could never do. Some times I am disgusted by what I allowed myself to become, because it is not the me I hold in my heart.

So, do I just walk away from this life? How do you walk away from a family that  you love? YOU DON’T! So how do you find a peaceful way to allow the Gypsy me to be satisfied without harming the people and life I led? I feel selfish just THINKING these thoughts; I lived my life putting my family before me. I have much to be thankful for; please know I am not complaining nor do I take what I have for granted. I just know this restlessness is not going away…it is growing stronger day by day.

Ho! Hey! February 14, 2013

This song has been playing in my head for days….LoVe it!