Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

Minty Fresh Feet That Elvis Would Love September 1, 2013


Blue Suede Shoes in Marks & Spencer's window

Blue Suede Shoes in Marks & Spencer’s window (Photo credit: Diego’s sideburns)

I’m a “Do It Myself” kinda gal; I love trying homemade recipes for clothes detergent or household cleaner. I enjoy facials made from fruit, vegetables, or honey that I have right here in my kitchen. Most of the time it is a fun adventure that lends good results.

Today I decided to pamper myself. After spending the day in the heat going from one store to another looking for clothes appropriate for work, (By the way, to any clothing manufacturers who may read this: I am NOT a young teenage girl who spray-paints her clothes on; I AM a full-bodied, mature woman who does not want to put the girls on display, but I am also not a little old granny wearing polyester suits….THERE IS A GROUP OF US WOMEN IN BETWEEN!!!!) I came home and searched the wonderful ‘net for foot bath recipes. Simple, refreshing, and softening: that’s what I needed to go with the new nail polish I bought. I found a great sounding recipe on Pinterest (the life-sucking site where you can find everything you ever wanted to do but probably never will) that called for three ingredients that I knew I had: warm water, vinegar, and Listerine. I mixed it in a large plastic bowl, grabbed my Kindle and a beer, and settled down for a relaxing soak.

It felt really good, even though the water cooled down quickly. I sipped my beer and enjoyed the book I am reading (The Witness, by Sandra Brown). I probably soaked a little longer than the 20 minutes it called for, but not too long. The recipe promised the “dead skin would roll off when  you wiped with a towel”, so I grabbed a towel and wiped. I could feel some skin removed, but something else was NOT coming off: the blue coloring of the Listerine! I tip-toe ran to the bathtub and rinsed my feet with fresh water. I still looked like I was wearing Elvis’ Blue Suede Shoes! I grabbed a loofah sponge and scrubbed. Hard. The blue finally started to come off….a little.

After THIRTY MINUTES OF INTENSE SCRUBBING, my feet only look slightly like they belong on Smurfette. The good news is, after all that scrubbing, I removed several LAYERS of skin, so my feet are softer. I am proud to say my feet are minty fresh, soft, and only slightly blue…

 

One Response to “Minty Fresh Feet That Elvis Would Love”

  1. Yet another reason to stay far, far away from Listerine. My personal reason: after spending a year cooped up in a room full of corpses pickled in formalin (which is the active ingredient in Listerine; do you REALLY want to pickle your gums????), I developed an aversive reaction to the smell of the stuff. Last month my dental hygienist kindly took what was supposed to be my “complimentary” toothbrush and, without my knowledge or consent, dipped it in Listerine and massaged my gums with it. I ripped off the bib and bolted out of the chair to the bathroom, gagging all the way. Luckily I managed to keep my lunch down by turning on the water in the sink full force and power-washing my mouth with it. I still tasted the crap all day. She tried to give me the brush. I glared at her and threw it in the trash, growling that I wanted her to write NO LISTERINE in large red letters on my chart. She rolled her eyes. So. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Listerine is bad. BAD. If it doesn’t pickle one part of you, it will pickle another. Hope your feet turn back to their normal color again, after several more layers of skin wear off…..


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