Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

No Means No May 27, 2013

She was raped. That son of a bitch raped her last night. I am boiling with fury and probably shouldn’t be allowed to blog right now but I have to let it out somehow or I will hunt him down and cut off his dick. If you are offended by my language then please don’t read this post. I am seriously trying to keep from going after him. I do not need to go to jail, because then who would she have? Her dad, who lives in la-la land? Or her sister, who gets angry every time J’s bipolar/anxiety prevents her from being “normal”?

I have always joked that if someone raped either of my daughters I would take him in a house and nail his dick to the windowsill. I would then set the house on fire and hand him a knife and tell him, “You get to choose. My daughter did not.” I thought I was joking. Now I know I was not. I want to inflict terrible pain on him. I want to see him beg for mercy. How could that son of a bitch do that to her? She is already so fragile….years of work probably undone because he wanted to get off.

To think, this was a “nice boy” whom I knew and LIKED!!! It wasn’t one of the losers she found on the dating sites (nothing against dating sites, but J is known for picking losers and it never turns out well); this was a “local” guy who seemed very earnest and straight-forward. My heart is broken for her. She will not press charges because they will never stick. And I agree; they will not stick.

J told him no. Forcefully. Repeatedly. But she did not fight. She did not scream for help. She kept saying no and crying but did not stop him. My guess is because of her incredibly low self-esteem she just let him finish. She was so hurt and confused when she told me. My poor baby.

No means no.




14 Responses to “No Means No”

  1. Joy Says:

    Your post gave me chills. I’m so sorry you and your daughter have to go through this.

  2. hownottokillyourparents Says:

    I am so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. I don’t have any words of wisdom or strength. They’d sound hollow anyway. I just wanted you to know that someone read this and they heard your pain.

    • rainey Says:

      Thank you. It does help to know that someone is listening. I almost didn’t post it, but now I am glad I did. I do feel slightly better. I just have to remember that she is strong and she has me. And thankfully, I have you and my other friends. Thanks for listening. ❤

  3. MBC Says:

    I don’t know how you’re controlling yourself? I feel the same way you do. I guess try to focus on helping J and not on your anger.

    • rainey Says:

      Oh, my friend, it is hard. She knows that I can be fierce in protecting her and she begged me not to go after him. So far I have restrained myself. You are right, I must stay in control so I can help her. She may really need me.
      Thanks for being there for me. I know this is painful to read.

  4. You are strong supporting your daughter and not killing the son of a fuck. I know you want to. I would want to. Work out your feelings as you have done by venting on your blog. Too many know your pain. You wish you were alone in this b/c if you are not then it has happened some place else and we all know it has. I wish your daughter healing and you the strength to help her and yourself. Stay away from the him. Do whatever you can for your daughter. Listen and support as you have and continue to do what you are doing. Fantasize about what you want to do to him. That might help keeping you from acting. Know you’re not alone. Jennifer

  5. sakuraandme Says:

    I have tears for you and your daughter. I was raped at 20 and know how it feels. She will need you even when you think she’s over it. It never goes away. I’m truly sorry….Hugs Paula xx

  6. I am so, so, SO sorry. I hope you/she have reported this to the police. I hope she has been to the hospital so they can collect DNA to convict him with. Please don’t think that because she didn’t struggle that they won’t take her seriously. Acquaintance rape is now taken just as seriously as stranger rape. I am a survivor of multiple rapes, so I have some experience with that side of it, and when I “grew up” I became a doctor and expert in sexual abuse of all kinds. If you need to talk, leave me a message on my “about” page and I’ll send you my private email.

  7. backonmyown Says:

    My heart breaks for both of you. I’m so very sorry.

  8. lumalayag Says:

    That is so frightening… I don’t want to say what might sound like empty words, but as a girl your daughter’s age, my heart truly goes out to you both. Know that there’s someone on the other side of the world who hopes one day things will be okay for her.

  9. Mystical Says:

    I totally agree mate.. I would do the same if not worse as I no the feeling your daughter must be experiencing.. Send her my love please..

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