Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

It’s Coming March 14, 2013

It’s coming. I can feel it, breathing down my neck. It’s not here yet, but it is close. When I gaze in the mirror, I can feel it hovering just out of view. When I walk down a long hall and turn the corner, I can almost catch a glimpse. As I stare into my own eyes, I feel it staring back, right there behind the dark brown flecks of my irises. Just the thought is wearing me down.

There is nothing I can do. It will come, it will stay as long as it wants, and it will leave just as abruptly as it came. It will tear me apart if it wants, and leave me in tiny little pieces that I can never, ever make fit perfectly again. I will fake it for as long as I can so that no one else can see the turmoil it brings. I will fake normal so no one will know my secret. But I know, and IT knows.

How long is my uninvited and unwanted guest going to stay?  Will I make it? Will my life be so interrupted that nothing is ever the same again? Only it knows.

I hate depression.



11 Responses to “It’s Coming”

  1. I envy your ability to put it into words this way. I wish I could do the same but alas, I only seem to excel at ranting incoherently and incessantly. If it helps at all, I’d totally kick depression’s butt for you because I know that dark cloud and the destruction it leaves in its wake. ❤

  2. Hang in there…((hugs))

  3. I completely get what you’re saying here, and I agree with morgueticiaatoms, you’re ability to put it in words is commendable. I read something once that talked about how most comedians are very depressed/unhappy people. My initial reaction was, that doesn’t make any sense. Then I started watching more stand-up, and suddenly it made perfect sense. I saw people airing their grievances, their shortcomings, their angst, their anger, and so much more.

    I guess my point is the best one can do with depression is find the outlet that makes you feel even the tiniest bit better, then take that outlet and beat the crap out of your depression with it.

  4. I am reading your blog, I like the way you express your feelings, but I cannot hit the “like” button meanwhile I know you are suffering.. I know also very well the way you are feeling and I really understand you… in my blog there is a post about how I see my depression, read it maybe it will help you with smth… take care! Margò

  5. Jackie Says:

    Take care and hang in there as best as you can. You will be in my thoughts. ❤

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