Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

You Got Jokes? January 20, 2013

















This Day

I must memorize the sounds

of the rhythmic, crashing waves

and the distant sea gulls calling hello.wave


I need to hold on to the touch

of the wind caressing my cheek

and the sun warming my skin.


I must remember the joy and happiness

I see when I gaze into your hazel eyes

and notice in your light steps.


I must capture the majestic view

of blue-green waves speckled with white foam

reaching for golden sand.


I need to bottle this incredible day

as a perfect, beautiful reminder

of life as it can be.




Porn Stars, Ants, and a Stupid Calendar

Random thoughts for today…

I wonder if any people who I know personally lead secret lives…..you know, the kind where a good, well-liked family man has another family in the next town over.  That shit’s crazy. I cannot keep up with one family; what would I do with another one?

Do porn stars worry about their “good side” when being photographed? “No, damn it! Place the camera on the left! You KNOW the right side makes my vagina  look too big!”

Why, in America, is gambling only okay when the government is in charge of it? We can play the state lottery (in some states), we can go to the casino in Vegas or on tribal land, but it is illegal to play a friendly game of poker for a few hundred dollars. Oh, I know, it’s because the government does SUCH a GREAT job of spending money wisely!

There are some really strange jobs in the world. Think about it. Someone has the job of designing dildos. Someone else goes in to work everyday to try them out and write the review…”Product A gave pleasure in 32 seconds, while Product B missed the mark (much like my ex).” WTF? I want that job….but then at home, it would be like, ” Not tonight, dear, I had a long, hard day at work. Literally.”

What is the purpose of ants? Why are they here? They really piss me off when they sneak into my house and find the last 1/2 box of cereal.

Do you ever wonder if those of us with “mental” problems aren’t actually just people with more developed use of our brains? We just need to learn how to channel the energy a little better…

If you could know the exact day and time of your death, would it make things better, or worse?

Am I the only one who’s bothered by our calendar? I like when things are evenly distributed. Every month should have the same number of days, damn it! (Learning it in school would be so much easier!)  And no more of this “every four years is a leap year” shit. Really? It didn’t work out right, so just throw on an extra day?  Whoever made it up is definitely not  OCD!

I hate the way my voice sounds when I hear it recorded. Is that how I sound to everyone else when I speak? If so, why hasn’t anyone stabbed me in the throat with a pair of scissors yet?