Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

The Alien Thought of Taking Care of Me January 13, 2013

Taking care of myself…putting my needs before the needs of others…thinking of what I need to be happy…these thoughts are so alien, so foreign to me. I have put myself last for my entire life. Even as a child, I tiptoed around, trying to be “good”, so mommy and daddy wouldn’t fight and have angry voices. As a teenager, having sex with guys I didn’t really care about, because it was what they wanted. It made me feel needed and loved…for a little while. Then, I became a wife and mother. Putting myself last seemed natural; a good mother and wife took care of her family, right? Even in my job, I take care of others. It is what I do best.

I guess I have made some tiny steps in doing a few things just for me. For example, my “photo shoots” (Wow. That sounds like I’m some kind of professional or something!). I try to find some time at least once a week to take photos. Admittedly these last two trips were really to please the hubs; I just went with him where he needed to go and brought along my camera. He “humors” me, I know. To him, taking pictures of trees and old buildings is silly, but he loves me so he stops and lets me shoot away.

After all of this time, how do I change? Where do I start? What is the first step to taking care of me? I don’t even know how to begin.






16 Responses to “The Alien Thought of Taking Care of Me”

  1. I’d say finally realizing that you need-and deserve-to take care of yourself, means you have already taken the first step and begun. 🙂

  2. H. Stern Says:

    First of all, I LOVE that you recognize that this SHOULD become a part of your life. Secondly, I think you’re already taking the first step of going out and doing it. The next step, to me, would be to make this a priority in your life. Taking photos isn’t some way to “treat” yourself, it’s general Rainey-Maintenance. The hubs and I get massages. Even when money was super tight, that was one of the last things we gave up. It seems like a “treat” to so many people, but the reality is that you find what feeds your soul, and you make that a priority in your life.

    You think of it like those airline warnings: you put YOUR oxygen mask on before assisting others… because you’re no use to others if you haven’t taken care of yourself. You can’t be there for anyone else, if you haven’t taken care of your BASIC Rainey Daze needs!

  3. rainey Says:

    BAHAHAHA! I just reread the title: it sounds like I’m talking about an alien who wants to take care of me! I bet all the SiFi lovers will follow a search and be very disappointed in my post! 😀

  4. I always love the “where do I start” question because it has the simplest answer. Right where you are.

    You’re taking the right steps and I am glad to see it.

    And I will admit the title of this post had me wondering for a moment, SciFi nerd that I am.


  6. Alastair Says:

    Go out … go to the cinema … go to the pub … enjoy yourself 🙂

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