Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

Humor, My Shield of Choice November 25, 2012

Filed under: about me,all,blog,blogging,humor,life,musings,random,surviving,thoughts — rainey46 @ 8:23 am

Today I allowed myself to go back and glance over some earlier posts. Sometimes I can do this and not be affected, and other times I can do this and it throws me into a tailspin of dark depression. I felt strong today, so I was able to step back and look without feeling the walls close in around me. One thing I noticed: I have a habit of sharing a bit of myself, then holding back and posting sillies. Toward the end of the last times I posted, there were lots and lots of sillies.

Humor  (or Humour, for my far-away friends) has always been my shield of choice. I use humor to hold the demons at bay. To tell the truth, I think we all do. It makes things more bearable, don’t you think? Laughter and crying are so closely related, as both elicit from very strong emotions. How many times have you found yourself laughing, then realized you were crying, or crying until you were laughing? (Or maybe that’s just me…)

Humor is a thick layer of protection surrounding my heart. I wonder how many layers I built, and if I will ever make it through these layers. Because while they did their job and protected my heart from breaking into a million tiny pieces, these layers also prevent me from fully living and experiencing life.

What the hell am I so afraid of? What happened to make me so ashamed of who I am? Why am I so scared of finding out?

I may never know the answers.


4 Responses to “Humor, My Shield of Choice”

  1. purpleowltree1234 Says:

    Sometimes we need a break after disclosing things of depth. It’s okay to use humour (humor) to help get equilibrium again. It’s great you can pinpoint that’s what you do. Humour is a kazillion times better than lots of other things you could be trying to regain equilibrium with!
    I’m so glad to see another post from you. Each one is valuable.
    That cartoon is HILARIOUS!!!! I laughed and am still grinning about it. So funny! Thank you. I needed a laugh right now too.
    Love from Rach.

    • Hi Rainey (and Rach). What Rach said. I liked the post not because I like what you’re going through but because I laughed so hard at the cartoon.

      I too, have been away for a while. I can’t bring myself to blog these days. So I understand to a certain extent (Rach, sorry I haven’t visited you either). Dark times are so hard and exhausting 😦

  2. MBC Says:

    I found the power of humor as an adult. I was painfully shy as a youth. Humor gave me a chance to go out into the world and cope. But as you say, it binds you in chains at the same time. Hard to feel that humor can be a bad thing, but……?

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