Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights

Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes

Words to a Child June 10, 2012


Cover of "The Help"

Cover of The Help

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

Last year, I read the book, “The Help” and then saw the movie by the same name. As usual, I liked the book best, but that is because I am a reader. The movie was great and stuck closely to the book, so I highly recommend both.

The quote above was said by Aibileen Clark, a black maid/nanny to Mae Mobley, her small white charge. Aibileen repeated those words to Mae Mobley daily to help make up for the fact that her own mother couldn’t be bothered with her. It is my favorite quote because it is so simple, and yet, so right.

Imagine if every day someone said these words to you, and they meant it. Imagine hearing these words every single day since you were a small child. Would it change things? Would hearing these words help to override the negative voice inside your own head?

My own mother did the best she could. I am sure she said some positive things to me along the roads of my childhood. She is not an affectionate person, so I don’t remember hugs, kisses, or her even saying that she loved me. In her mind, it was understood. In my mind, I felt unloveable, and that feeling haunts me to this day. The words I remember, like many of us, are the negative ones. Would things be different if she had repeated heartfelt words of encouragement  daily? Or am I just a person destined to feel unworthy of real love?

I don’t know the answers, but if you have young children, it couldn’t hurt to try. Look at your child each day and try to give some affirmation of real love. Maybe, just maybe, those words will sink in and change your child’s world.

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7 Responses to “Words to a Child”

  1. Anita S Says:

    I wish I could go back in time and say these things to my children several times each day. Perhaps my son wouldn’t be in trouble like he is right now.

    • rainey Says:

      Anitia, I know that feeling. But you and I both know that sometimes kids just do what they do, and it is not our fault. I’m sorry to hear that your son is on some trouble. I’m sending hugs your way.
      ~Rainey

      • What Rainey says. Even though I told my son so often, he still managed to get it in his mind that I didn’t. And it was because of the way I withdrew myself during my depression episodes. The poor little guy blamed himself for them for the longest time without telling me 😦

        I took him years to finally gather the courage to talk to me about. There was a lot of crying that night but it’s all good now 🙂

  2. bpshielsy Says:

    My wife loves that quote 🙂

  3. I believe it would have made a difference. When my kids were growing up, I hugged them and told them I loved them every day. Even now that they are both adults I still tell them. And I think it shows in the way they are

  4. We’re going through some tough times ourselves at the moment, and it sometimes takes all my energy to prevent myself from saying or doing things that could hurt him. Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when they drive you so hard …. but your post was a nice reminder to stay focused on the good stuff.

    • rainey Says:

      Alice, Hang in there. I went through some really tough times with my two kids, and it is hard to step outside yourself and keep their interest at heart in the heat of the moment. We are human, an we make mistakes. I tried to do better than my mom did, and I hope my girls will do better than I did….and so it goes. Hugs~Rainey


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